Fr. Yanni’s Reflection: Sept 2019

In most recent years, we have repeatedly heard the same cry of concern from parents, teachers, youth advisors and even parish council members. “Where are the children?” Over the years it seems that desperation and concern have grown.

In the month of September and perhaps even into early October we notice that many of our young people are here, in church, and active in our ministries at the beginning of our new ecclesiastical year. However, as time goes on and most especially as our children graduate, “Where is the youth? Why aren’t they in church?” repeatedly come up as questions in many of our discussions.

The usual response from the church is to create and come up with more pro- grams to engage our youth. However, the simpler and more direct answer to the questions posed above is because the parents are not and/or were not in church. It is not only the church's responsibility to bring up children in the faith, but most importantly that of the parents. Parents and not the church dictate the upbringing of the children. The simple, and perhaps embittering answer is this, they are in sports, music, dance lessons, school and school projects, scouting and all sort of “fun” or “useful” things. Some are traveling, and going to the movies or concerts. “Where are OUR Children?” Not at church. Parents are the cause as well as the solution for this reality.

I believe that we sometimes forget or never truly realize that we as parents and grandparents will one day give an account to God regarding how we’re raising our children in the faith. If we believe that our faith is a priority, a most important one, which depends on the parents to plant and instill in the hearts, minds, and daily lives of their children then we must follow through with actions.

St. Paisios once gave parents the following advice; “when the children are young talk to them about God, when they grow up, talk to God about them.” The saint, in a very simple way validates that raising children is not a simple task, especially now with the way the world and society put all sorts of pressures on our children, as well as the parents, causing them to drift away, rebel, or even fall apart. And yet if we nurture them in the faith early through their formative years, and not despair and lose hope as they grow old but continue to actively pray for them, then we invite God into our lives and our struggles, as our own Father.

When we ourselves truly become children of God, then the church and the home begin to work together and our private life becomes one in which Christ is welcomed and honored. As St. John Chrysostom once said to the parents of his generation “If you raise children well, they will do the same with their children and they with theirs, and so on, we will then have a holy community... Parents must see to it that their children become rich, not in silver and gold and the likes of them, but in piety, understanding and virtue.”

Parents are willing to give the world to their children, to do and give whatever money can buy, driving them to activities and all sorts of places. Bringing them to activities, even church activities and participating in many ministries is not the same as coming to Liturgy together and hearing the message of Christ and the Gospel. Giving them the world and all that it has to offer to make their life comfortable will not, does not, and cannot give them life itself, especially life everlasting. Only Christ can do that, only God can do that, and we can only begin to live if we live in Him, and with Him, and through Him.

What message are we giving our children? What are we showing them? Not just with words, but with actions. Not with what we should do, but with what we truly do, and what we know and believe it to mean.

Our actions speak louder than words. Where are we? What do we want? Where are we going? Who do we say we are? What does that mean?

Truth be told, many parents arrive late to church, sometimes even just before Holy Communion. What mes- sage are we sending to our children about the Liturgy, Worship and the Sacraments? Often we spend more time in the car or at fellowship hour then in God’s house. We say we went to church but does this mean the physical building or the experience of prayer, worship and faithful attentiveness as we commune with God, OUR Father?

With tongue in cheek, I want to say better late than never... but is that enough? How long can a father or mother put up with childish behavior, how long and how far will we kick the can down the road? Our children will imitate our actions, our words, our example and us. Does our example, yours and mine, honor our Christian faith? Does it honor Christ, His Gospel, and His truths? If not, then His absence from our homes, prayers and hearts will be filled by other things less important than His love for us.

Sunday, the Lord’s Day, ought to begin with the family (all of us “grownups”), and our children, at church. We are called to continue the Liturgy after the Liturgy by keeping the Spirit of the “Lord’s Day” alive throughout the week. Our children may hear about God in church and in church school but in order to experience and see Him as a real presence; their presence and participation in the sacraments are paramount. Remember they look to us as an example, and in time they learn to honor us or grow resentful, they see and hear everything, and can smell hypocrisy a mile away.

So let’s begin now, with the start of our ecclesiastical new year, to strengthen our families by emphasizing who and where we are, Children of God in His house.

 With much love and respect,

+Fr. Yanni